Convenience “Store”

Let’s face it, if you’re an adult or trying to become one, Life gets Hectic. This scenario (or, at least parts of it) may seem familiar:

Every week you survive the brutal rush hour commute squished into SkyTrain cars with people whose hygiene is questionable. The bus line extends around the corner which means your chances of getting a seat are close to zero. You end up standing on the bus next to people who step on your shoes, yell conversations over the phone or hit you with their giant bags.

The worst part of this entire journey back home is that you are hungry. You can smell the wafts of salty, fatty goodness seeping from steamy paper bags containing burger combos with super-sized fries sitting atop the laps of random passengers. The aroma of pepperoni pizzas, greasy Chinese takeout and/or gyros to-go fills the air of a packed and stuffy SkyTrain car. It either leaves you feeling slightly nauseous or gets your stomach rumbling because you are just that hungry.

If you’re like me, at this point in your comute home, all you can think about is dinner because you’re tired, starving and ravenous. It takes so much willpower and determination to walk past restaurants, fast food joints and convenience stores on your way home. Then you start to think about the contents in your fridge: Hmm, everything looked fresh… Two weeks ago…

And, when life gets hectic, the last thing you want to do is go grocery shopping. Personally, I hate it. Enduring the line ups, obnoxious people with 100 items in the express lane, customers requesting price checks over a 30 cent difference and hauling bags of food home is my own personal hell.  All I want to do is eat dinner! The other option is takeout. But, I don’t want to order pizza or sushi for the third consecutive night in a row. Especially, if I intend on having a somewhat healthy diet and a balanced budget. Eating healthy can be such a struggle in a world of high-fat convenience foods and busy schedules. Why would I go out of my way to pick up groceries and cook a meal when I could just as easily call any local eatery that delivers. The very idea of having zero dishes to wash is especially enticing! Don’t get me wrong, I love cooking and often do so (I recently made jerk chicken marinated in a homemade spice mix, courtesy of Jamie Oliver, with a chili-rum-sugar glaze. No one died of salmonella poisoning so, I considered it to be a Success). I just wish that there were more options for convenient, healthy eating in Vancouver to accomodate busy lifestyles.

In South Korea, British grocery chain Tesco has already come up with the amazing idea of bringing a grocery store to tired transit goers. They set up a virtual grocery store in subway stations which allows busy urbanites to order groceries using their SmartPhones during their commute.  The best part?  Your groceries are delivered to your doorstep by the time you arrive home! I know, it sounds too good to be true…

So, let me run this down for you… While you wait for the SkyTrain, you could be buying groceries and paying for them. Think of all the time that would save, along with your patience! You won’t have carry bags of groceries onto the bus or SkyTrain and worry about eggs breaking or bananas bruising. Unfortunately, this doesn’t solve the problem of cooking dinner. Yes, this you will still have to do unless you’re fabulously wealthy and can afford a personal chef. And, until I’m grown up enough to own my own place (preferably a downtown loft space), I won’t have a dishwasher. However, bringing a grocery store to commuters would encourage people to cook for themselves, choosing healthier alternatives instead of fast food and takeout (which would be more cost effective in the long run). A little convenience goes a long way when you’re trying to find balance in a busy life. 

Genesis.

Many believe the origin of The Bus Loop is shrouded in mystery and has been relegated to the realm of folklore, however it was the following incident from whence The Bus Loop was born…

… as written by Danielle (@daniella_163):

It was early Monday morning. I was taking the SkyTrain to New West, like I usually do and this young guy got on at Columbia. He stood in the middle of the train by the doors hanging onto the centre pole. Suddenly, and without warning,  he began to pole dance. 7.30am – I wasn’t nearly caffeinated enough for an early morning show. I continued to watch, as he moved as if possessed by some tawdry 80’s music (Pat Benatar and Tina Turner come to mind). He began talking very loudly about his girlfriend, then the talking turned into singing. The topic of choice? How all girls, including his girlfriend (who was apparently cheating on him) are whores… He went on, but for fear of permanent scarring, I have blocked it from my memory.  It was a Crazy scene! Before exiting at New West Station, he pointed his index finger and thumb into a “pistol” and “aimed” at random passengers. No one took him too seriously, I noticed a few smirks from fellow passengers. Luckily, pole dancer dude was harmless – but also completely nuts.

I noticed he started to walk in the direction of Columbia Station but, didn’t really think anything of it. I was more concerned with seeing my friends as quickly as possible so, I could tell them about yet another crazy SkyTrain story. While I waited for everyone to show up, Sanda texts me to tell me she has a crazy story to tell me, as well… Awesome, my Monday morning just got slightly more entertaining.

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Sanda (@thebusloop) writes:

I’m on the SkyTrain. It’s sometime after 7.30am on a Monday morning and  I can barely keep my eyes open. I start dreaming about what I am going to order at Starbucks (Hmm, An Americano with oat fudge bar…) when suddenly, I get a text from my friend Danielle about some guy being a pole dancer. This is exactly what I need to wake up, a coffee and a crazy story. I can’t wait to hear about it!  I get off the train at Columbia Station and as I am walking down the stairs I hear someone singing at the top of their lungs. I turn the corner to see this seemingly normal-looking guy on the pay phone singing into it and doing the running man, seriously. I’m trying looking nonchalant but, I can’t help myself and I slow down and watch the scene unfold. As I walk towards the Columbia Street exit, I notice that he’s not really talking to anyone on the phone. In fact, there’s probably no one on the other end. He’s singing about how his girlfriend is a stripper, how he knows she’s cheating on him and how all girls are ho’s… All the while, still doing the running man. You wonder how I knew there wasn’t actually anyone on the other end of the phone? Because a phone is a less efficient form of communication when held upside down!  Anyways, the singing eventually turns to shouting, but the subject matter remains the same… Strippers, whores, and cheating girlfriends. He eventually ran off up the stairs, still yelling about his cheating, stripper girlfriend. Now I had a crazy SkyTrain story to share too!  This is going to be good…

…I barely had time to sit down and take a sip of my coffee when Danielle started me telling about pole dancing guy on the SkyTrain and then imitated him singing his song. I recognized the song immediately! Who could forget it? Apparently, pole dancing guy had done a loop, continuing his antics from one station to the next and back. Gotta love this small world we live in!

I figured that all these stories, crazy, funny, strange, would also be appreciated by the normal among us who also frequent transit. And so, The Bus Loop was created…

Field Reports: Crazy Comes Standard, Pt. 1

Story by Danielle Goss, @daniella_163:

Throughout my College and working life, taking transit has become routine for me.  The best part about it is the entertainment from random crazies no matter what time of day you ride the SkyTrain or take the bus.

I have had quite a few colourful interactions throughout my years of using Transit and some pretty scary experiences. I am generally very outgoing and once I’m awake (usually by noon), I enjoy talking to random people which can either make for a good story to tell or requires a restraining order. Unfortunately, I’ve had to find out the hard way! I do try to stay away from the dangerously crazy people but sometimes my chattiness gets the best of me and I don’t succeed…

My friend and I were taking the SkyTrain back from downtown at about 9:30 pm. Yeah, it was a pretty tame night, nothing too crazy. This guy gets on our train, obviously drunk but, not just drunk, Stupid-Drunk. Oh, and did I mention he was bleeding profusely from an open wound on his head?! He staggers over to where my friend and I are sitting and tries to hit on us. Awesome. Slurred speech is so not hot. Neither is being drunk and bloody. All the while he’s drinking a beer, still bleeding from the head and trying to chat us up. Of course, my curiosity got the better of me and I asked him what happened. He said he got into a fight… Well, no kidding! He started swaying closer to us and refused to get off the SkyTrain until we got off. Great, not only was this guy stupid-drunk, bleeding and drinking in public, he was Belligerent! My friend and I decided to get off at the next stop. We used the transit phone to call security. While  I was on the phone with Transit Security, stupid-drunk guy was still trying to have a conversation with us! By this point we were freaking out and I asked the person on the phone if he could see us on the security cameras. He said NO. Sort of scary, because anything could have happened and at that time there weren’t any cameras on the SkyTrain either. Anyways, Translink police eventually came and escorted stupid-drunk guy away so, my friend and I could go home, in peace. In one piece! I’ve noticed the newer trains have cameras which is an added security feature but, the security cameras just record the craziness. When there aren’t any Transit Security officers around, there’s still potential for a lot of crazy stuff to happen without anyone to help. Luckily, police officers came in time and stupid-drunk guy was more of a pain in the ass than a serious threat.

I have more stories, the next is funny, I promise! Anyways, stay tuned…

A better place to stick your gum…

Anyone who takes transit is familiar with monthly passes and Faresavers. In the spirit of these passes, which will be fading into the realm of folklore with the advent of the Compass in 2013, I present to you, the Metrobench!

Recycling everyday items into functional art is a project Stephen Shaheen, artist and resident of New York City, took on for a recent exhibit. He found meaning and purpose in the highly disposable New York City Metrocards and decided to recycle 5 000 of them into an amazingly cool, sculptural bench.

The Metrobench is not only Brilliant, Stylish, and Functional, it’s also Eco-Friendly! This is a fantastic piece of design. I love it’s fluidity and can’t wait to see what else Shaheen has to offer in the future.

Unfortunately a bench made from our existing monthly passes and faresavers would never survive the torrential rainstorms Vancouver is (in)famous for [nearly] year-round. One good downpour and instead of a bench you would find thousands of rectangular-shaped cardboard pieces disintegrated into a soggy mass of putrid pulp, lacking form or function.

Just imagine our new plastic Compass cards morphing into bright blue, rainproof bus shelters.  We all know the lower mainland could definitely benefit from more bus shelters. If only I had the artistic vision, time, and tenacity to follow through with this crazy idea… Not to mention the thousands upon thousands of Compass cards needed for this creative endeavour… Calling all Vancouver artists & Translink…